I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
