White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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