I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
