i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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