:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
