are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
