Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
