So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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