i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
