So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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