i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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