I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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