You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
