you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
handjob tips. give me some.
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I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
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Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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