When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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