so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
