i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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