He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
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There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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