You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize