I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
