don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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