Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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