Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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