I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
