Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
