maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I met the friendliest cop last night
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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