Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
