why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
