i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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