she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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