I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
