Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
