I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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