I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
