Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
