He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i love accidental penises.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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