Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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