those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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