whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
