so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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