just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
