Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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