Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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