Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
