I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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