I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
