the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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