I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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