I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
