Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
