be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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