it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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