You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize