Nicole vs. Life
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
