I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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