the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize