There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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