YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
