What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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