He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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