my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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