don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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