woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
