In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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