i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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